I woke up Tuesday morning April 4, 2023.
That Tuesday was a very strange day. It was the day that my mother, my hero, my rock passed away. My life changed forever on the 15th we buried her alongside her sister and her father.
The last time I left the house was Monday the 17th. It's Friday the 21st. I go in and out of sleep, my routine is eating going to the restroom, and going back to bed. I sometimes help my husband with his studies and from time to time play with my dog. But most of the time I am in bed. My husband is a great help and he understands and his support is so important.
Grief is no joke it becomes part of the family. You find yourself sitting down and spending lots of time with Grief. Grief wants all your attention. So it reminds me all the time that I am not myself.
I laugh and I scroll and post on social media from time to time to just feel normal. But sometimes I just don't want to be bothered. I fall back to sleep. I eat and then back to bed. Grief really enjoys are moments alone. It gets jealous sometimes if I feel as though I want to feel good for a moment. It then reminds me that I just lost my mother as though I don't know that. Grief I know that for right now you have some control over me and I do understand that it will take up six to eight weeks to get rid of you. The longest can be up to 2 years.
Grief affects my body I ache more, my stomach get upset and I can have headaches. I can become angrier and my depression can get a little worse.
I know that I willl get back to myself soon. But for right now I will let Grief have its way.