Stop trying to impress others
There was a time that I was trying to impress a sergeant that I had a crush on while I was in the military I was stationed at Ft. Rucker, Alabama my competition was this young lady that was in my unit. I knew they were dating but I really didn't care, I felt that I really needed to have this guy in my life at that time. I was starving for attention and validation so I found that if I would focus on anyone who would pay me any attention, I would get attached to that person. Well, this sergeant said some things that got my attention and what he was doing was playing both of us, she lived in the barracks and I lived on post in post housings so had he the best of both worlds.
Let's get to the story, So one day we were at the track running she and I called ourselves competing with each other. So he was there also with other sergeants. I had to show off I had to let him know that I was a better choice, she was prettier and younger than me but I was the better choice of a girlfriend I had more to offer. So we got ready to race against each other to show who was the best. I got down in the starting point when they blew the whistle as I was about to take off I fell flat on my face!! She took off and was gone.
They laughed and I never felt so embarrassed as I was at that very moment right in front of him I had humiliated myself. Now he did ask me was I alright and I said I was fine. But my knee was killing me and I had scraped it real bad along with my knee my pride and my self-esteem was damaged. I limped back to the barracks and when I got home I cried like a baby. The one time I wanted to show him that I was the better choice I realized that I wasn't.
The moral of the story do not allow others dictate your worth to them. Do not come out of your character to try and impress them when its not really worth it. At the end of the day that person was comfortable with the arrangement the idea that two women would pit themselves against each other for their attention.