Okay first of all, I am not looking for sympathy I just want to share my experience of a small meltdown with you. I am fairly a strong woman, when I say that I am stating that I can weather most storms and come out better than ever. But there are those moments when I am not strong, I get overwhelmed confused and I find myself slipping out of control of my task at hand. I was working a big project and I hit a snag, I quickly started beating up on myself because I didn't think I was doing everything right. When you battle with self-esteem issues and not being sure of yourself you begin to think is this really worth it. You know I could ride off into the sunset, I could live on the road, I could go shopping, and I could just disappear for awhile. But I am a confirmation girl, that means I love confirmations and all of sudden reality hit me and a talk with a friend confirmed that I needed to stay on task move forward with what you are doing but never do it without knowing there is a point where things will get hard and complicated but you must stay the course.
So what I learned was that no matter how much I motivate sometimes I need motivating to keep going. I do understand I do have a greater purpose and I need to make sure I stay focus on that purpose.
My meltdown that fed into was a waste of time but it was needed to make sure that I recognize when its time to step and see if this is really what I wanted to be doing. It also reassured me that if I wanted to throw in the towel that it is an option, but would be the ultimate answer.